Neurosis of a Caffeinated Archaeologist
by drgemini86
Summary: Daniel’s neurosis gets the better of him and he wonders why there isn’t an ‘us’ for him and Sam. Set in around season 8 and written from Daniel’s point of view, and it’s an AU with no Pete. SamDaniel
1. Chapter 1

**Neurosis of ****a Caffeinated Archaeologist, by DrGemini86 (DrGemini24)**

_**Summary: **__Daniel's neurosis gets the better of him and he wonders about why there isn't an 'us' for him and Sam. Set in around season 8 and written from Daniel's point of view, and it's an AU with no Pete. _

_**Pairing: **__DanielSha're (memories), SamDaniel, SamJack (a little), a little Teal'cIsh'ta_

_**Rating: **__T_

_**Category: **__New Romance_

_**Genres: **__Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Post-Meridian Angst, Romance-focussed, Thoughts_

_**A/N: **__I've wanted to write something directly from Daniel's perspective for so long, because he comes across as neurotic in well-written fics, and I can do neurotic (I do it all the time lol), although I can't guarantee whether this will be well-written or even make an inkling of sense. lol_

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Things haven't been too easy since I descended. It's been a year now. A year since I came back from what Jack refers to as 'Oma-land'. I did explain to him that there were other Ancients, not just Oma, on that whole other plain of existence but he insists. Well… _if_ he insists…

God, since when did I listen to authority figures, military authority figures in particular? I used to be so young and idealistic, naïve to a certain point, but downright 'against the man', in my own way of course. I suppose being in this military environment has changed me, as well as my year away…

Most definitely my year away. I still don't know what happened. I think I may have got a few Ancients pissy, or maybe Oma had just had enough of me. Those inhabitants of that other plain of existence are prone to delusions of grandeur just as the rest of us. Well, I got my memory back eventually, so maybe Oma saved me… with some crazy Ancient frat boy prank.

Boy, was that embarrassing in hindsight… along with something else that I don't want to think about right now… if I only had a choice.

Anyway, moving swiftly on, I'm sitting here in the Commissary with a plate of goodness-knows-what accompanied by reconstituted potatoes that look as though they have seen better days... when Nick was a young man. I wonder if he knew them. It's rather ironic seeing as European travellers took potatoes from the Colonies, only to sell them back, three hundred odd years later, and for us to make foodstuffs out of them that could make _my_ stomach turn… and I'm an Anthropologist, for crying out loud.

There, Jack's influenced me so much that I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere, somehow, we were a couple. Mind you, I'd probably beat him over the head with Homer or Tolstoy within a day. I love the man like a brother, but he sure as hell knows how to get on a man's nerves. Maybe I should ask Sam about the probabilities of any of us being gay in another Universe.

Maybe I shouldn't, because she'd probably think that I was gay, and that really isn't something that I want her to think about me… it's a pride thing… really. I mean, come on, what chances do I have with her? It's always been Jack. Well, I wish her all the best… if she wants a life of hockey, beer and…

Oh, who am I kidding? One: I should be happy for my friends, finding love or whatever they may call it, in the darkness that surrounds us on an almost day to day basis. Two: It's nothing to do with me how they live their lives and organise their scintillating conversations… Maybe Jack's saved up his intelligent conversation for her. I could just imagine them talking about Plato's Analogy of the Cave, and the ideas of… That is pushing it.

Really… what does Jack have that I don't? Is it the flying planes thing? Is it the fact that he isn't afraid of heights? Well, I think I'm over that by now after jumping out planes and whatnot.

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm in love with her. I told you being an ascended being helped me somehow. Well, I think it saved my soul. I remember how bad it was before. I couldn't save Sha're. I know I can't save everyone, but come on, when it comes down to your own damn wife. I still dream about her… little snatches of our life together on Abydos. Sometimes I dream about how she would react to things happening in my life right now, like Jack being a total ass. He never really got to know her that well, but she had fire and would have told him straight away what was on her mind.

I don't think I'll ever be over her. I miss her, even now, but I feel more at peace now. It's not like she doesn't matter, because she does, and right now, if there was anyway that I could get her back… I don't know. What would I do if she walked through the Stargate and went,

"Honey! I'm home!"

Ok… one: I had a hard time explaining Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez to her in the first place because it involved explaining cinemas, which in turn, involved explaining to her what a television was, which in turn involved explaining to her that we weren't all sorcerers. Two: she wasn't the Jack-type, who would come out with something like that despite being through hell and half of Georgia beforehand.

I miss her everyday, but it's like I can put her into perspective, our time together too. I will always be thankful for that time we had together. It was the most beautiful of my life. Now, I don't feel the guilt that I would have usually felt had I looked at another woman twice, like I had before I ascended.

Like I had with Sam.

Oh, it was hard not to notice her, and not in the… uh, physically embarrassing way. Samantha Carter is one multi-faceted woman. She could blow you away wearing just about anything… kick your ass in thirty different ways before you hit the ground, and still talk a mile a minute, quite passionately, about things that go way over my head most of the time.

I bet she feels the same way about Archaeology and Linguistics. I mean, I have trouble with them sometimes, and they're my majors. Well, I've been saying for years that Teal'c should not only take over my Goa'uld translations, but should get paid for it as well, but _the man_ wouldn't have any of it… either because of the fact that he's an alien (well spotted guys… I was wondering about the now healing scar on his stomach and the funny tattoo on his forehead…), or because of his skin colour (Eurondans should be neutered at birth).

So anyway, my mind's turning to mush just thinking about Sam right now. It shouldn't. I shouldn't. I mean, come on, friend, colleague, team-mate, fellow scientist, coffee buddy… the list is long enough without adding the exciting word 'lover' to it. Yes, I freely admit to myself that I found that word exciting, or rather the prospect… which means that I more than likely need a girlfriend. It's been a long, long time since I even kissed a girl. God, does that make me sad?

Ok, mind bleach. Terrible, terrible images that, if known about, would ruin my friendship with my dearest, best friend for all eternity, run through my head. To be honest, it's not the first time. I may be involuntarily celibate right now, but I'm not blind… or, ahem, numb for that matter.

Sam really is beautiful, inside and out. She has this aura of… well, someone who wants to protect you but then you know that you wouldn't mind protecting her, keeping her safe from the storms and the darkness, even though she does a hell of a better job of doing the protecting than I ever could… still, it's the thought that counts, I suppose. I still remember all those years ago when she argued with me about 'gate addresses. She challenged me, which was… oh, that sort of thing to geeks like us, is like sex to… non-celibate people. That has to have been one of our best and most fruitful debates. It started off so much… like a butterfly effect.

Maybe if those first realities had a 'me' there, and an 'us', she'd see me in a different light. But Jack got lucky. Why doesn't she see me that way? It can't be just because of those Universes, or because of the fact that Jack wouldn't leave her on that damned ship because he cared for her 'more than he was supposed to'. Yah, sure. I care for her a lot more than I'm supposed to as her team-mate, but you don't hear me making a fuss. Well, to be honest, we all care for each other a lot more than we're supposed to – that's what makes us so damn good at what we do.

If she'd just give me a chance though…

Ok, she would never give me a chance because she doesn't see me that way. She likes smelly, farty Jack O'Neill. Oh yeah, don't think I don't know… the smells are a big giveaway. I'm tempted to request Sergeant Bueller to stop serving up Chilli on Thursdays… but then Jack would find out, and kill me. He loves that stuff… and… well… let's leave it at _ewww_…


	2. Chapter 2

You know, if… _if_ we were a couple, if she finally realised that I have I have a Y chromosome (I still think sometimes that she just sees me as the sister Jacob didn't have the time to give her), we would have a lot of fun… I mean, come on, can you see Jack in a Museum, actually enjoying himself? Sam and I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY last year during a rare vacation when I got most of my memories back, mostly as a means of therapy, especially after I remembered what that bastard Gamekeeper subjected us both to, and it was a lot of fun… eventually.

Sam enjoyed it. I know she did. She wouldn't stop talking, and she has such a beautiful laugh when she gets to use it… which sadly, she doesn't much in our line of work.

It would be different, that much I know, if we got together. There are living arrangements for one… and… Oh for crying out loud… I'm a single thirty-nine year old man fantasising about the practicalities of a relationship. Jack claims that my apparent neurosis is down to a deep-seated need to get laid, but, to be honest with you, I think the man was pulling my leg. For someone without a steady girlfriend, who still dreams about being man enough to patch things up with his ex-wife, he really is obsessed with smut. Sometimes, it's like it's his lifelong ambition to make me glow brighter than Rudolph's nose. That poor reindeer. What has Santa been injecting him with?

Would it really be all bad? Maybe it would be, and Sam's really clever and she's probably seen that… that's why she won't even look at me twice… not in that way. There's a reason, other than the regs why she and Jack aren't a 'them' yet; chiefly that it would cause the end of the world. Oh yeah. Don't think I didn't make the connection. No 'me', those two being a 'them'… That's one more reason why I'm glad they aren't together – for some reason, I like living too much right now.

We're friends… we're friends… we're nothing more than friends.

'… not in that way'

Damn… '_not in that way_'. Those words are still ringing in my ears. I asked her when she and SG-1 had found me on Vis Uban a year ago whether there had been something between us. What else could I have said or even thought being faced with such an overwhelmingly beautiful woman who appeared to think the world of me, and who was a damn sight better at persuading me to come home than Jack had been (seriously… that man…)?

She pretty much shot me down by saying that we were just really, really good friends. Typical me. I actually thought it was a euphemism and she was just being polite. Maybe we had casual sex. Well, I know that we didn't now, but I didn't then. Then, I just saw her, and how she spoke so passionately to get me to come home again.

Passionately? God, she's as stubborn as I am, if not more…_  
_

You know, I'm going to have to tell her. I can't ignore it any more. If she wants to ignore me, then I, quite possibly her second in the stubbornness stakes at the SGC, can ignore her back. Yeah, screw up the team dynamics… Seriously, we are going to have to have a little discussion about it, a very mature discussion about it, and hopefully, we're mature enough people and good enough friends for it not to damage our present relationship…

_  
_Well, I get up, knowing that she's in her lab right now, having no fun at all with a device SG-3 brought back from their recent travels, and throw the rest of my dinner away. Doctor Brightman said I should eat regularly and properly. Well, obviously, she doesn't know how we do things around here… how _I_ do things… Or maybe Janet's haunting the Infirmary and telling her to be extra hard on me for ignoring _her_ when she was around.

I'd give anything to have her dig into me about my caffeine intake now.

So anyway, I leave the Commissary, get intercepted by Jack, who is so insistent on telling me about that damned NHL game he watched the other night… so I give him a long-winded explanation about what I've got to do right now… involving words like 'linguistic variation' and 'Homeric last-first' and the guy zones out before offering to resume his _gripping_ account to poor Siler.

Maybe I should have just told him the truth, and then I would be on the way to the Infirmary to get stitches, if he hadn't managed to kill me then and there. It's for the best. He would definitely kill me. The whole Sam issue is a sore spot for him. Pfft, he should try being me.

So… I make it to Sam's lab, or the adjacent wall at least, and then I lose my bottle. What do I tell her? I didn't even bring her any coffee… ok, she does have a new coffee maker, and a lovely selection of different blends that make me wish I could marry her right away and spend the rest of our days appreciating the different coffees, but that's beside the point. It's the concept, the principle if you will, of bringing her a cup to alleviate her tension.

God, I'm such a boob.

Anyway, sans coffee still, I watch her from the doorway, hard at work. She looks as though she's finishing though, which means that we could go for lunch in about half an hour, or she's going to pour a mug of cold coffee on my head for what I'm about to tell her.

She looks up and catches me looking at her, her breathtaking eyes catching the light. Sam has nice eyes. They're like her – beautiful, dangerous and inquistive, ever changing according to the situation, but never without sympathy (unless your name happens to be Robert Kinsey or… ooh, Adrian Conrad… damn, what I wouldn't do to zat both of them repeatedly right now). Ok, so she's not going to throw something at me for apparently stalking her. No, she's never done that. She's nice.

She stretches and I try not to think about her arms, or her neck, or any other part of her body, and she asks with a smile, a hand still on her neck, "Daniel?"

She has a lovely smile as well… and I don't want to gloat, but it seems like she uses them for me. When did I last see her smile at Jack? I meant a real smile… not a sarcastic or a polite one. I realise she's waiting for me to talk and I clear my throat and say quietly,

"Um, just watching you work…"

She shoots me her patented 'I'm not buying that' look, which, if I was in her place and was faced with an insecure, neurotic Archaeologist who apparently openly stalks his best friend, I would use… many, many times. She then relaxs, apparently buying it, or just accepting it for the moment, and she asks,

"How are you feeling?"

That's a question I'm thoroughly sick of now, along with its cousin 'how are you doing?' and it's maiden Aunt 'how's the afterlife?', but coming from her, I don't really mind. You see, for an entire year, random people keep coming up to me as though it was unusual for someone to be found naked on a planet, the victim of an Ancient college boy prank. Well, alright, I guess I shouldn't be annoyed about it. I did kind of die, didn't I?

Well anyway, I reply with a shrug, pushing my glasses up my nose (damn, these things… I need new glasses. These keep on getting so damn loose even though I keep on tightening them… stupid American made screws…), "Ok, I guess. How are you? How's the work with the device going?"

She says with a groan, "Remind me to go back in time to either shoot the twit who designed it, or to never get my doctorate."

Not good apparently.

"Ouch, that sounds bad."

"What have you been up to?"

Um, well, you see… having stupid male fantasies about my best friend, and wishing that Jack wasn't in between us. Yeah, right, like I'm going to tell her that.

"Uh, not much. Just sampled the culinary delights of the Commissary. Do you want some coffee?"

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back with a groan, in a way I vaguely recognise as my own – yeah, like I can patent my expressions of exasperation although I think Jack could, seeing as they're usually directed at him – and she then looks at me with the most mischievous of smiles and asks, standing up,

"How about we take my new coffeemaker for a spin?"

I smile back and ask with what I hope is a matching smile, "I've got a better idea – why don't we do a run to Starbucks? Jack's always moaning about us not doing anything exciting in our lunch breaks."

Well, relatively exciting seeing as we're all single. _The Man_ should probably consider renaming the SGC 'the Cheyenne Mountain Singles Club'. It would work, it really would… or maybe not. It would give some else for that rat bastard Kinsey to pull us on, not that he really is in a position to do that these days after the President accepted his resignation.

Anywho, her grin grows wider and she says, linking arms with me, "Sure, come on, let's go sign out. I can never resist that cute smile you get when you mention Starbucks…"

She called me cute! Ok, it was my smile, apparently, but still… it's a part of me. I do my utter best to be nonchalant as I smile at her as we leave, my cheeks heating up, and my stomach does a series of flips, in a good way for once and not because of the Commissary brand food that I unfortunately ingested earlier… well, I was bored. I sure as hell am not now. I'm going to Starbucks… with Sam.


	3. Chapter 3

We return a good hour and half later with a tray of steaming cups, having been accosted on our way topside earlier by several personnel, including Jack, who didn't look back on hearing the word 'Starbucks'. Sam's laughing at the memory of a man and his girlfriend apparently being too lost in each other to order at Starbucks, resulting in our delayed time.

I went delivering various Starbucks orders to several whingeing Air Force officers and scientists who seemed to do it for the sake of it rather than truly because of the time we had taken. Doctor Brightman's got her work cut out with this caffeine-obsessed and rabid base… and she says I'm bad. She should see Bill… and contrary to popular belief, Balinsky doesn't need coffee to be like that. I feel sorry for Jack sometimes… ok, no I don't.

I had no idea until now that Jaffa, chiefly ex-First Primes of megalomaniac wife stealers, have a penchant for Frappes. Apparently Teal'c frequently has Raspberry and Blackcurrant. Well, he won't have the coffee – he doesn't like caffeine; says it ruins his equilibrium. That doesn't stop me, but hey… I think he likes being sober.

Anyway, I return to Sam's lab, to my still steaming Hazelnut Mocha, which the love of my life has managed to keep warm. You know, some men like certain qualities in their women, like for instance, not talking until the advert break (ah, now, is there any wonder why Jack's a lonely grumpy man? Pfft, look who's talking…), or the ability to cook up something not only not poisonous, but tasty too (Ferretti's just lazy)… but I always like a woman who can keep my coffee warm. Alright, that's not the only thing I love about Sam, by far… but as I was trying to forget my reason for going to her lab in the first place earlier, that small gesture really won me over all over again.

She's leaning against the front of her desk, sipping her Cappuccino with extra caramel syrup (we're both suckers for caramel syrup – it's just as well we both work out regularly, and equally if not more so just as well that we don't work at Starbucks because, damn, we'd both be taking swigs from that bottle, along with the maple and hazelnut syrups… I wonder how they don't. Or maybe they do, and that's why they usually look jaded… or Diabetic).

I'm high on caffeine, so I can't be held responsible for my actions, right? Pfft, that's disgusting. Anyway, I stand next to her, frowning slightly as I consider the hundred or so reasons why I should tell her, and the hundred or so reasons why I shouldn't, and she takes one look at me and asks with that nice smile she only seems to use for me,

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I don't really think about it, and I should, I really should, but I don't. "Why am I not more than a brother or a sister to you?"

Damn, I think I could have chosen my words better but I'm high, and it's not easy talking, never mind thinking. She looks at me for a long moment and I wonder whether she'll deck me. Well, she's taking her time about it if she is, so I wait. I have to know. She then shrugs and goes back to sipping her Cappuccino, saying quietly,

"We'll talk when you're not as high as kite, Daniel."

Ok, no killing… maybe she's putting it off until I could be said to be of sound mind… yeah right. I'm a basket case without the caffeine. I shrug and say as I go back to sipping my delicious Mocha,

"Ok."

I then proceed to babble about Mesopotamian farming methods. Yep, Sam is right… I wouldn't be much use in my present state for a serious discussion of agriculture… oops, I mean the possibilities of there being an 'us'.

Remember kiddies, coffee's bad for you.


	4. Chapter 4

Hours later, when the regrets pile in as my scarily high caffeine levels decrease sharply, I sit in my office, wondering whether I should just go and apologise to her right now, and put it all down to the coffee. Yes, blame Starbucks. What a versatile series of beverages that can be blamed for anything. Well, it's just as well I didn't have a Frappe because they have no caffeine in them, and I wouldn't have an excuse for my behaviour.

Ok, so I wanted to tell her, but… this is bad.

Jack strolls in, all innocence, and he takes one look at me, and he says, "You look like a tonne of crap. You ok?"

Yeah, thanks Jack… I see you don't like mincing words. Ok, shut up now Danny, we need to ask him something. We? Am I schizophrenic? Are we? I admit to being disturbed by the concept. Anywho, Jack's fiddling with something, an eye on me. I sigh and say,

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

He raises both eyebrows – a classic expression of 'you're bullshitting me' which compares quite closely to Sam's 'I'm not buying that' look or Teal'c's 'I freely chose not to purchase your utterance' eyebrow raise – and remarks, "Fine? I wouldn't say edgy is fine. When's the last time you went home?"

Good question. I can't even remember what my front door looks like… or my bed… Where do I live again? I might have to look it up on my personnel file before the week is done. Maybe it should be on my dogtags, and when I'm captured off-world by the System Lord of the week, they could organise a thieving party to ransack my house for coffee and cookies…

I look down at my desk, trying to word what I'm about to say in a way that isn't going to end up with me being in the Infirmary in five minutes time. He leans against my desk and does that fatherly thing he does sometimes that, funnily enough, reminds me of my mother, when he smooths my hair back.

I miss my Mom. She was a gutsy little woman. Maybe there's a connection… Mom, Sarah, Sha're, Sam… Agh, shut up, shut up.

He asks, now looking very serious, "Daniel? What's going on?"

I look up and ask, grimacing inwardly, "What would you do if the woman you loved was in love with someone else?"

Jack looks as though he's trying to work out who it is I'm talking about, and he asks, "Who's the unlucky lady?"

"Just answer the question, Jack."

He exhales sharply and says, looking a little awkward, "Well, I guess… I guess I'd let her choose. Ultimately, it would be her decision. If she does love the man who I think she's in love with, then I'd just have to be man enough to take it and be happy."

He smoothes my hair again and he asks, "Do you have something to tell me, Daniel? Maybe something related to why Carter's currently looking at her ceiling like a stoned teen?"

I try not to react but I evidently fail when Jack pats me on the shoulder, smirks, and remarks as he gets up, "Like a book, Danny. You think I don't notice things like this but I do."

I ask as he moves to stand in front of the desk, "Why don't you do something about it, Jack?"

He smiles, which is more of a grimace as he says, "Well, Space Monkey, it was never the regs that were the issue. Putting all our incompatibilities aside, it was the fact that there was always someone in between us."

Was it Jonas, Martouf, Lantash or Narim… or Orlin? Ok, does anyone else find it disturbing that I am scarily familiar with the romantic history of my best friend?

I frown and ask in confusion, "Who?"

He smiles, this time with a little more warmth and relaxation, and remarks, "Dannyboy, Teal'c is right."

Was it Teal'c? Well, Sam has scared him on several occasions… and maybe she could take Ish'ta on. Who am I kidding, Ish'ta of the Hak'tyl has nothing on Samantha Carter of Cheyenne Mountain.

"He is?"

"You are, and I quote, visually impaired when it comes to ColonelCarter."

I laugh a little as I look down at my desk again, asking, "Teal'c said that?"

"Oh yeah. He likes you, you know."


	5. Chapter 5

Sam's still sitting in her lab when I finally work up the nerve to go and see her, Jack's words ringing in my ears, and I notice that she's still wearing an expression akin to what Jack called a 'stoned teen'. I clear my throat and she practically leaps out of her skin. Some daydream. I wonder if she's dreaming about Jack… or maybe the non-evil Jonas. I did like the guy but I do have a habit of being too trusting sometimes.

"Daniel?"

Sam always calls me 'Daniel', no matter what the situation. Jack calls me that sometimes but he also calls me things like 'Space Monkey', 'Lazarus', and his total favourite, being an Irishman (or of Irish descent at least), 'Dannyboy'. Maybe I should buy a CD with the song on it and do the Noriega thing… that would stop him.

… or he would sing it incessantly.

Jacob sometimes calls me 'Danny'… just like my parents used to, but Sam… she always calls me Daniel. It's odd when I think about it because there have only been… actually, I can only think of one time when I called her 'Samantha' and that was when I'd lost my memories… and it was right before I asked that damn question.

Anywho, I step into her lab and close the door behind me. Whatever happens, this talk has to be in private, away from prying ears and eyes. She realises what I'm about to broach and she acknowledges this with a tight nod as I shut the door before she looks up at me, waiting, a little of what must be fear in her eyes.

I sigh as I flop down in the seat across the desk from her, propping my elbows up on the desktop as I look at her, really look at her. She's even more beautiful than I thought. Damn, this isn't going to be easy.

I swallow, several times, and then I say, wincing a little, "About what I said earlier… I… it was out of line. I'm sorry."

Her gaze drops to the desktop and she says quietly, as though expecting a fight but not getting it, "Ok."

I continue to gaze at her. I like what she's done with her hair recently. It suits her along with the new style of what Cassie tells me is 'nude' makeup. Yeah. I'm still trying to work that one out without being a total man about it, but it appears to be about nature and subtlety.

I reach over for her hand and say as I squeeze it, my heart beginning to hurt as I get ready to let her go, "I don't want to make things awkward between you and Jack. You should go for it. He cares for you a great deal and I'm sure after all these years you could get a special dispensation…"

She looks straight across at me, looking at first as though something had dawned on her, and then she laughs softly, shaking her head. I ask, confused,

"You've tried already?"

She smiles and replies with a happy sigh, apparently getting something that I'm not, "No, Daniel. I let him go a long time ago. It wouldn't have worked. I don't have to have a 165 IQ to figure that one out. We don't talk about it because it's one those silly little SG-taboos, so I leave it. I do care for him a great deal but it's more in the same league as I feel for Teal'c."

I frown when she leaves me out, and I ask, confused, "What about me?"

She smiles again and asks, "Why did you ask me that question earlier?"

I look down at the desk, not wanting to tell her that it wasn't all the coffee, and she says, smoothing my hand, "You're a very bad liar, Daniel Jackson. Despite the stimulants coursing through your system at the time, it was a very carefully worded question and you'd obviously given it a lot of thought."

I look at her again, not sure where she's going with this, and she continues as we hold hands across her desk, "I've given it a lot of thought too."

Surprised, I ask, "You have?"

She nods and replies, "Uh-huh. It's hard not to… you're quite the catch."

Now I know she's lying. I don't do relationships very well – take a look at my last one… and what about Sarah? It looks as though every woman I care about goes away or gets Goa'ulded, or both. I hate the Goa'uld. I wouldn't mind defeating them very soon or blasting them with some long-hidden Ancient power. Stupid Ancients.

"… You know I regretted it before you died."

I realise she's still talking and her words draw me out of my little reverie. I ask, confused for what seems like the eight millionth time in the past few hours,

"What did you regret?"

Her smile fades as she says, so quietly that I'm not completely sure she's said what she's said until a full minute after she's said it, "Not telling you how I felt, how overwhelmingly in love I am with you."

When the words sink in, my stomach does a series of flips, back flips, back handsprings… can a stomach do back handsprings? In short, I have surpassed the lunar orb, as our Jaffa friend would say.

This can't be happening! She loves me! She loves me! Pinch me because I really must be dreaming. She pats my hand, realising that I'm quite possibly having an out of body experience, and I suddenly grin. I kiss her hand and say with a happy sigh,

"You really don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that."

Her eyes widen in surprise – she wasn't expecting me to say that. Ha, this thirty-nine year old has a few tricks up his sleeves yet. I really can't believe it. She actually knows what I'm going through. She then smiles back and kisses my hand in return, asking with all coyness,

"Does that mean you feel the same way?"

Is she kidding me? Maybe it's just to make sure… I tell her the truth, the full truth, and it feels so amazing, for lack of any other word because of my slowed down mental processes right now.

"Oh, most definitely. I love you so much… and I have done for a very long time. I just didn't see it until I came back."

Her face lights up and she grins, and I know now that I want to keep that grin there, that happiness on her face. We hold hands for so long, gazing at each other without reservations. I ask her something as I reach up to caress her face, amazed at how soft it feels, and exploring the boundaries of… what is it now? Is it a relationship? A change in our current relationship? An evolution?

"How long have you been in love with me?"

Her smile grows wider as she replies, reaching over to touch my jaw, and I revel in the new but oh-so nice feel of the touch, "Since we met."

Oh God, when I have ever been this happy? I feel as though my heart could burst at any moment right now, or worse, I could wake up in my bed. Well, in that case, at least I'll be able to refamiliarise myself with it. Seriously, can't remember a thing. I just hope there wasn't any perishables in the fridge because I could be going back to a very smelly fridge.

We stand up and she's smiling so radiantly… and I'm sure I have a dopey little smile on my face. Ok… we've kissed before… little, how would I put it, perfunctory gestures used in greeting at social gatherings, but… this is going to be different, I can tell. For one, we weren't an item during those little kisses… now, I think, we can be counted as one… an item that is.

Still holding hands, we draw closer to each other, slowly, unsure as we're still exploring boundaries, and she pauses, her eyes half-open as she waits for me. I let go of one of her hands and reach up to lightly cup her jaw before I do something that I've only ever done in a dream (oh, they were nice dreams…). I gently kiss her and am about to pull away when the hand that I've released reaches behind my head and stops me.

So… she actually likes it. You know, I was scared that she'd be repulsed but she's kissing me back just as much I'm kissing her if not more, and… wow. It feels really, really good, and I don't want it to stop and neither does she, judging by the way her hand stays at the back of my head, her fingers slowly and seductively running up and down my neck. Hmm, I could get used to this.

We separate eventually, being humans and in dire need of oxygen, and we gaze at each other and then we laugh a little as she straightens my wonky glasses. On my lips, there's a faint fruity taste, and coffee and caramel… I have no doubt she tastes hazelnut and, quite possibly, some chocolate right now. I then hug her as she clings onto me, and I whisper in her ear before tentatively kissing it,

"I should have told you a long time ago how I felt about you, Sam. You really have no idea what you do to me."

I close my eyes as her fingers play with my hair at the nape of my neck, and she whispers against my shoulder as I play with her hair… she has really nice hair, "I should have told you too, Daniel. I just kept putting it off, and then it was too late… and after you came back, I thought you weren't interested."

"Well, I always thought it was you and Jack."

"Oh, like that would happen."

I let go of her enough to take a good look at my new girlfriend's face, and I trace her lips as she looks up at me looking very different from the woman I know, happier chiefly. This feels so great – she feels the same way that I do, we've told each other how we feel, and we just shared the most breathtaking of kisses imaginable. I think this is going to be a lot more fun than I had previously thought.

She gently runs a hand up and down my waist, which necessitates me concentrating on how many times Jacob would kill me when he finds out… oh crap, what if he does kill me? He's got Selmak, who would give him extra strength. They're nice to me usually but being a friend of his daughter, and boyfriend of his daughter, are two very different things.

As if sensing the turn my thoughts had taken, she gently kisses me and says with that cute smile that never fails to set my heart on fire, "You've got nothing to worry about Daniel, really. Dad likes you a lot."

I tell her my thoughts about the difference of being her friend and being her boyfriend, and she shakes her head with a little smile, and replies, "You don't know Dad."

Just then, right after the unscheduled wormhole activation siren, there's a knock at the door and before we can even think of moving our arms from around each other and separating our intimately positioned bodies, the door opens and a young SF says, "Colonel Carter…"

Whatever he was about to say dies on his lips, and Sam, taking a leaf right out of Jack O'Neill's book of frightening nonchalance, says as she casually lets me go and I straighten my shirt out as she slowly works on her own, daring the SF to say something, "Lieutenant, what is it?"

The green Lieutenant replies, his voice wavering a little in embarrassment and awkwardness at what he had surmised from our previous position, "Sorry, Colonel, Doctor… General O'Neill wishes to inform you that General Carter and Selmak have arrived."

Great, my Judge, Jury and Executioner are in town. I better get my last kiss in before it's too late.

Sam says in a no-nonsense tone, "Thank you, Lieutenant. Dismissed."

The poor Lieutenant scurries away, 'poor' mostly because of being on the business end of Sam's military side, which is scary, believe me. Ooh, don't I know it. Sam turns back to me as the door closes, and we go back to each other's arms as she says, leaning her head on my shoulder as I play with the beautiful fair locks,

"We'd better go. We've still got to tell General O'Neill about the change in our relationship… but that can wait."

Yes, it could wait, because there's a chance that I wouldn't make it that far. Where do you think Sam gets her scariness from? Jacob can be one scary man a lot of the time… stubborn too. I kiss her and I say, meaning every word because I don't know what would happen, I honestly don't know,

"I love you Sam, you do know that now, don't you? I love you, and I don't care what anyone says. If it means quitting my job, or even just SG-1, I'd do it for you, because I care way too much about you for anything to get in the way like that. I know how hard it is for a woman to be taken seriously at the mountain."

She smiles at me in the way she does sometimes at Jack when he says something about Nintendos passing through anything, and she says, running her nice fingers through my hair, "Daniel, you really have nothing to worry about… No-one's going to make you quit because we need you right now, and SG-1 was nothing without you two years ago. Thank you though… I'd do the same for you if it meant that we couldn't be together for whatever reason."

She returned my kiss and then took my hand, saying with a carefree smile, "Come on, let's go see Dad."


	6. Chapter 6

Well, we walk into the briefing room to find Jack and Teal'c at the briefing table talking to Jacob, who looks happy... for now. We're not holding hands any more, not wanting to cause a stir, and Sam glances at me, nodding slightly and I nod back before Jacob gets up, and they hug. As they exchange a warm greeting, I tap Jack on the shoulder and when he looks up at me, curious, I whisper in his ear, my face turned so that it's facing behind him so Jacob can't lip read,

"Jack… Sam and I have something we need to tell you after this."

I had to say something like that otherwise he probably would have died from shock as we were planning on breaking the news to Jacob. Teal'c would be alright with it. I know he would be, because… I don't know. I just have this feeling right now that Teal'c wouldn't beat me senseless for it.

Jack nods, conveying with his eyes that he wants a lot more details when he finally gets the whole truth, and Teal'c smiles slightly as Jacob looks confused. I knew Teal'c would be ok with it. He rarely smiles like that. Jacob, on the other hand, looks as though he's missing something big and knows it.

He asks, looking from me to Jack and back again as I take my seat next to Teal'c, "What's going on?"

Jack stands up and says with a smirk, "I'll be back in a minute… T? You wanna help me get that folder?"

Teal'c keeps on smiling in his own mysterious way as he replies, getting up and following Jack out, Jack whispering something to him which results in him smiling more, "Indeed, O'Neill."

We all watch them leaving and then Sam looks at me as I look at her for a moment, and then I look at Jacob, who looks at each of us in guarded interest. Sam holds her father's hand and says,

"Dad."

Jacob asks, now looking worried, "Are you ill? What's wrong, Sammy?"

No, she's worse than that… she's in love with someone you trust… or previously trusted. Get your zat ready.

Sam smiles and shakes her head as she looks across the table at me, and then back at her father as she replies, "Nope, Dad. Fit as a fiddle… better in fact. I just wanted… _we_… we just wanted to tell you that we've started seeing each other."

Jacob's face is frozen. He obviously isn't expecting that. I eye the exit, calculating the time it would take for me to escape before he can get up to pummel me. If there's one thing I'm good at by now, it's running. It's either run or get shot at, run or get shot at and then kidnapped; or just plain ol' run or die… again. You get the picture.

He looks straight at me and asks, an eyebrow raised as even Sam looks scared, "Is this true?"

I nod, swallowing my fear as I reply, knowing very well that it could be my last words prior to screams of agony or grunts of pain, or maybe ascension if I ask nicely enough, "Yes, it is…"

I continue as I gaze at Sam for a moment and she smiles at me in what I hope is encouragement, "I love Sam very much… and I have done for a long time now."

Jacob finally smiles, and he looks at Sam, who smiles too in relief mostly, and she says as she holds his hand, "This is pretty new for us, Dad… minutes before you came, in fact. We, uh…"

She looks at me and then back at her father as she continues, "… we were hoping for your blessing."

Jacob smile grows wider and he takes us both by surprise when he hugs Sam suddenly, and replies with a laugh, "Of course you do. You have it. You two always have."

I look down at the table in embarrassment at his words, and he grins and stands up. We stand up too, and he remarks with a grin,

"Selmak is doing somersaults in here."

He approaches me and says as he pulls me into a crushing hug, "It may be ridiculously premature, but welcome to the family."

This must be a new approach – death by embarrassment as opposed to death by mutilation or a sound beating. He invites Sam into the hug and we have a little, um, family hug and I smile as I feel Sam's hand on my lower back.

I'm dimly aware of a few spectators in the doorway, gaping at the sight and realising the implications and reasons, but I don't care. I glance across at Sam as the hug ends, and she doesn't seem to care either. The rest of SG-1 is going to be a breeze after this. Jacob says with a grin as he pats me on the shoulder and then Sam,

"You really don't know how happy this news of yours makes me feel. You're perfect together and I've thought about it for a long, long time. Look after yourselves ok?"

He ruffles my hair, which does annoy me but at least he isn't killing me, and he then says to me, an arm around Sam, "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to have a few words with Sam in private. We won't be long."

I nod and I gently kiss Sam on the cheek, feeling self-conscious as I feel Jacob's eyes boring into me… or is that my frequently resurfacing paranoia? She gazes up at me with a little smile and I tell her,

"I'll be in Jack's office, ok?"

She nods and kisses me back quickly before going to sit down with her father and I leave for Jack's office, Jack and Teal'c quickly moving out of sight from the big window of Jack's office. Those two are like kids sometimes.

They let me enter and I close the door behind me. As soon as the door finishes closing, like the door of the wooden enclosure shutting near the end of Babe, the tense silence is broken by Jack remarking,

"So… Daddy knows about you sleeping with his daughter…"

I close my eyes in disgust and say, "Jaaack," as I sit down, and Teal'c asks, seated next to me, "Does JacobCarter approve of your relationship with ColonelCarter?"

I nod and reply, "Yeah… he gave us his blessing."

Teal'c nods with his mysterious smile and he says, "That is indeed fortuitous news, DanielJackson."

I did try telling him once that it was ok for him to call me Daniel, but he's stuck to it. I don't mind. It's like a tradition between us… and he calls Sam 'ColonelCarter'. Actually, I remember him calling her 'Doctor Carter' once… Wait, didn't she introduce herself as Doctor instead of Captain when we first met despite apparently insisting on being addressed as Captain in the briefing prior?

Anyway, I digress. Jack asks, now looking mildly amused instead of outrageously amused… like there is a difference when it comes to him, "Was he really ok about it?"

I nod, and Jack continues, his smile fading, "Ok, from the top… how did you go from hiding to… not hiding?"

I shrug, still not quite sure of how it happened, and reply, not used to discussing my personal life (well, I'm not used to having much of a personal life anyway, so… maybe I should get used to it especially being Jack's co-best friend), "I told her how I feel about her."

Jack says with a raise of his eyebrows as I wonder whether _he'll_ pummel me instead of Jacob doing the honours, "So… I guess there'll be a change in the team dynamic with you two going home together. Carter is in command of the team now, and you're part of her team. It would have been different if you'd taken this step when I was still team lead."

He sighs and I ask, knowing somehow that Teal'c wouldn't be shocked, "What is this really about? Is it because it's me and not you?"

Jack huffs and shoots back, his eyebrows slowly rising in a way he does when he's downright shocked that you had the nerve to break a taboo, "Well, aren't we the rabid one?!"

Rabid? What?! Does he even know what rabid means?!

I sigh and say, feeling tired and not up for a fight, "Look, we'll talk about it when Sam's here. You're just being an ass."

Jack pokes his tongue out, thus illustrating my point, and then he says, having got _some_ of the immaturity out of his system, "Well, my indiscretions aside, we can't split the team up. You know it, I know it, Teal'c knows it… you, me, T… oh, Carter knows it too, and ol' Nuby and Baal… and well, let's leave it at most of the galaxy, shall we… and Pegasus too? Just so long as you can behave yourself off-world. Ah, I better save the talk 'til Jacob's finished giving his little girl _The Talk_. I'm not doing this twice – I'm not allowed to drink on base."


	7. Chapter 7

Well… we had the talk with Jack, who was surprisingly _not_ an ass, and then for the second time that day, I was told to leave so an older man could talk to Sam. I wonder what they're saying.

I'm in the briefing room again, standing next to the window and looking out at SG-3 leaving for another mission. It was close today, but we both held our corner. We knew we could act professionally off-world – we both know the score, what's at stake. I have no doubt that it'll be hard sometimes, that we could cross the line that point five percent of the time, but we're not stupid. We wouldn't risk our lives or Teal'c's.

I sigh as I watch the wormhole disengage after SG-3 has walked through, and I wonder what the future could hold for us, and not just us, but the team too… and Jack. He accepted it and seemed happy for us, but I couldn't help thinking the whole time that he had taken the advice that I should have taken. Well, I did take his advice and it just so happened that Sam loves me, which makes me happy. I'm still up.

A hand on my shoulder makes me turn around, drawing me out of my thoughts, and it's Jacob. I smile at him in greeting, and he smiles back, asking,

"How are you doing?"

I think he's waiting for Sam to be done so he can go home. I can't exactly imagine me being scintillating company… especially judging by the way Jack acts up when I say anything other than the answer _he_ expects to the question 'how's it going?' although Jack is blasé to everyone… even himself sometimes.

"Fine, I guess. A little nervous. How is everything?"

"It's ok."

I go back to looking out of the window, at the Stargate, not sure of what else to say. I don't even know why I'm this nervous. He's happy with Sam and I being an 'us'. Jacob says with a little sigh,

"You know, Danny…"

He called me Danny again! It just makes me feel like his son sometimes… which is now pretty gross seeing as I'm his daughter's boyfriend. It's the thought that counts anyway… the affectionate side of things. I mean Jacob Carter isn't the most emotionally upfront man, person, human being, host, alien hybrid in the entire galaxy… even with Selmak's moderating influence.

"… I am happy, really. I know it's early, but you make each other happy, and that's what counts. My little girl's been so unhappy in the past but I saw something in her eyes when she talked about you, and it was there when she talked about you before now. I guess she didn't see it. That means you can relax because I'm not going to hit you."

I smile, my nervousness dissipating although I wonder how he knew, and I reply as I pat the hand that's on my shoulder, "Thanks, Jacob. That means a lot to me."

"Sel and I can't think of anyone better for our Sam than you."

We hug, and for some reason, I'm emotional, and I whisper as I remember my own Dad and how he used to hug me and comfort me after nightmares, "Thank you."

He smiles and says, touching my face, "I know I'll be hearing wedding bells soon so I'll keep in touch, ok? Take it easy."

He hugs me again as Selmak gives me her own blessing, just as Sam, Jack and Teal'c emerge from Jack's office. Jacob spots them too and clears his throat before wiping the grin off his face and shaking my hand with a semi-solemn expression on his face as Jack smirks.

--------------------

The wormhole has just disengaged after sending Jacob and Selmak back to the Tok'ra secret base. I'm standing in the middle of the gateroom with Sam in my arms as we both watch where the event horizon had been. It's always been hard for Sam to keep having to say goodbye to her father. They've really worked on their relationship, strengthening it, since they got their second chance when he got Selmak.

Now, he's all over the galaxy, another part of our ongoing, multiconglomerated fight against the Goa'uld and the Replicators.

Not caring about our control room spectators, I run a hand up and down her back as she melts into my embrace, not caring about what anyone would think of the big brave Colonel with tears in her eyes. As she rests her head on my shoulder, I kiss her hair and whisper,

"He'll be back, Sam."

She whispers back, watching my chest for some reason, "I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. I rarely get quality time with him."

Maybe we could persuade him to live on Earth one day, when we've overcome the Goa'uld and the Replicators.


	8. Chapter 8

_We-hell_, we decide to stay the night with each other, although quite where, I have no idea. Using the magic of probability, we flip a quarter, and my house won. It's just as well… maybe Sam knows where I live… I warn her about the dangers of a house that hasn't been lived in for at least a week, chiefly the fridge, but she says it's alright.

We arrive at my place, after I did some shopping and after she'd picked a bag up from her house, and it feels weird. Weird in a good way of course. Sam's stayed over at my house before now, quite a few times, but this time, it's different. All those times before, she was my colleague, best friend, team-mate, fellow scientist, and coffee buddy… This time, she is all of them… plus, my girlfriend.

I still can't believe I have a girlfriend.

Inside, we make some coffee and she hugs me from behind as we watch the coffeepot. I've never had so much fun while watching a coffeepot before. Suddenly feeling mischievous, I quickly turn around and grab her around the waist, lifting her up onto the worktop as she shrieks with laughter. She hits me on the arm, and then we kiss, becoming bolder in our explorations and caresses, until the coffeepot decides that it's ready.

We exchange a glance and then decide to stop. I love this whole pseudo mind reading thing we have. We've always had… all the way back from day one. I love how in tune we are most of the time.

I help her off the worktop and we walk into the lounge with our mugs, our free arms around each other's waists, and it feels natural. I offer to help her to unpack her things but she says that she can handle it, so I watch her instead, placing things in what could very soon be our drawers and our wardrobe, although that depends on a series of contributory factors, such as whether she would want to move out of her place, and whether she even wants a long-term relationship with me.

Placing her mug on the nightstand, she lays back across my bed, remarking with a grin as she looks up at me as I sit near her head, "This is so cool."

I lean down to kiss her – Spiderman, eat your heart out – and reply, "It is… but the offer for the spare bed's still open. I don't want you to feel you have to rush things."

I don't want her to feel like she _has_ to do anything. Natural is good as is slow, and if natural just so happens to be slow, well… who am I to argue with that? It isn't the pace or where you go that counts – it's who it's with.

She grins up at me and replies, "Oh Daniel… this feels so natural, like we're meant to do this."

Ok… so she's either high… or just being nice. Again, as though she can read my mind – she gets up and kneels in front of me as she says, smoothing my hair,

"I'm not high or just being nice. I do love you… as a friend… as a lover… as everything but a brother."

Oh yeah. That's going to have me waking up in the middle of the night with a huge grin. Yes! Wait a minute, was that a poem?!

--------------------

Our first day of being a couple, and we're already in bed together. Meh, that's nothing compared to my last long-term relationship…

There was a bit of a kerfuffle about changing in front of each other as we've not seen each other naked in that way before. I'm sure she's seen me half naked after lake-baths off-world, but this is different. In the end, we did it with our backs to each other. It was rather exciting to know that the love of my life was changing her clothes in the same room as me though.

So, we're lying together… in my bed. Wow. It feels nice. I can smell the citrusy smell of her shampoo, the fruity scent of her shower gel… the floral scent of her fabric conditioner. I wrap my arm around her waist and draw her closer, burying my nose in her hair and enjoying the various scents. She giggles, laughing at me, and I reply, nuzzling her neck,

"You smell nice."

She turns in my embrace and kisses me, replying with a grin, "I was going to say exactly the same about you."

What, I smell like fruits, flowers and citrus? Oh… she means the 'nice' bit, doesn't she? I unconsciously started buying lemon shampoo these past few months, and it seems to have worked… a little too much. McKay's in another galaxy. Maybe that's why Jack never lets me go to Atlantis in case McKay… dies. Well… at least he'd get his work done quicker if he knew he was going to die, and maybe he'd be nicer to my new girlfriend.

Her fingers wander underneath my t-shirt, toying with the waistband of my boxers, and I kiss her. Her fingers manage to get themselves underneath the waistband eventually and I stop breathing. I can't help rolling my head back in sheer pleasure at the contact, and I whisper her name… I think.

We've never been this far before… it's new territory. My lips begin to get more adventurous as I explore her throat and her shoulder, and I enjoy hearing her moans of delight. It's like every dream I've ever had about her, plus more. It really did it for me when she groaned my name. Hmm, that sounds a bit stalkerish…

One by one, each button of her pyjama shirt is undone as our explorations intensify. I pause, gazing at her in concern and asking silently if I can go further. She smiles at me and kisses me on the tip of my nose, whispering,

"Go ahead."

I can't believe it. She's lying in my bed, now halfway indecent, with her hands down my boxers and in the process of slowly removing them. Definitely not my highly professional commanding officer. I've never seen her so wild and so free before. This is so wonderful and so exciting. So… so… so… This whole day is about 'so' but _not_ 'so-so'… oh ho, definitely not 'so-so'.

Now, I've been with comparatively few women in my life… Sarah, Sha're and Ke'ra, to name but three of, ooh, about five, but I know a good pair of breasts when I see them… and Sam definitely has them. They're perfect and I can't help but touch them, gently checking them out as she pauses her caresses and watches what I'm doing with a grin. I'm not quite sure why she's grinning… maybe she thinks it's funny.

We decide to remove the last remnants of our clothing, and, now in the nude, the buff, our birthday suits, we begin a more intimate exploration of each other. I trace the many scars on her back, her shoulders, her arms and stomach, and she finds my Appendix scar. _That_ never factored into any of my fantasies… it should have though. Ooh, yeah.

Why do I even have an Appendix scar? I'm cured of my radiation sickness, being in, technically, a new body an' all, and I still have an Appendix scar and Myopia… Meh, there's something better to do for once than figuring that one out. Yay!

Our kisses grow in speed and hunger, and soon she's lying on top of me as I hold her tight. I hold her hands and we somehow end up with her on her back, and the last coherent remark I hear is,

"Oh my God…"

And the weirdest thing? I don't know who said it. Oh boy.


	9. Chapter 9

I open my eyes to the light of day, and something really feels weird… and it's not just the fact that I'm in my own bed… or in _a_ bed for once. It feels really nice too. There's something or someone in my arms… and I feel hair. I cautiously and carefully look in the direction of the unusualness. It could be a Goa'uld plot so I may as well act casual.

My, haven't we all picked something up from Jack?

Anyway, guess what I see? Oh yeah, a mass of blonde hair that smells partly of citrus, and partly of something else, something… hmm, I don't know. You know… last night was one big blur; one very big blur... one very big albeit nice blur. This is just post-sleep disorientation… I'm sure my memories will separate from each other in a few minutes… or by breakfast at least.

Ah-ha! Now I remember… more clearly. Wow. It feels really nice waking up with Sam, our naked bodies moulded together. I have no qualms about mentioning that the word 'naked' sends shivers down my spine anyway when thought of in conjunction of Sam, but even more so now.

I still can't believe she loves me! This really is unbelievable. And how many times have I dreamt over this past year of waking up with her like this, only for it to happen now and be so much better than those fleeting dreams?!

Mmm… I can't help smiling at what happened last night. I honestly didn't think Sam was _that_ wild. I knew she was wild, of course I did, but… wow. I'm going to find it hard keeping a straight face in briefings now. It's something else that turns me on about her. Hmmm… I could die right now. I just feel so at peace… although I don't think Sam would take too kindly to waking up with a dead body.

Eww.

I think I'll go back to sleep… I've never had that choice before, what with being an insomniac, and that fact that once I'm up, I'm up, but today is different. I just close my eyes, with what I'm sure is the world's dopiest smile on my face, and she shifts in her sleep, her hand going lower and lower as she kisses my chest.

I kiss her hair – it feels so natural doing that; it really does – and she almost purrs as her head shifts on my chest. Ok… so Sam purrs… or almost purrs? We-hell, you learn something new everyday. I didn't think she was the type… but there you go.

She's starting to wake up so I rub her back. This has the effect of her making a little confused noise as she too is disorientated from just waking up. I kiss her ear and whisper,

"Good morning, lover."

She raises her head and looks down at me, propping herself up on her forearms, and she grins. I grin back up at her and she kisses me, and she whispers in my ear after nibbling it,

"Good morning to you too… lover."

Good. She isn't beating me up… We make out on my bed and then as she lays under me, she catches sight of the clock and says as she strokes my arm, "Hmm, Daniel… we need to get to work soon."

Work? What work? Oh… right… _work_… Yeah. Can't believe I just forgot where I work. It's bad enough that I don't even know my own zip code… maybe that's on my personnel file too. Hmm. I reply, feeling mischievous,

"Maybe we could call in sick?"

She looks up at me, an eyebrow arched and asks as she tries to be serious but ends up laughing – oh, what a beautiful sight, "Both of us? Don't you think the General's going to get a _teensy_ bit suspicious?"

I reply with a grin as we go back to making out, "Sure, why not both of us? He can suspect all he wants."

She holds onto my shoulders with a little laugh, and says, "Well, I think we have time for one more roll in the hay, but then it means having to speed shower, speed dress, maybe speed eat, and break the speed limit."

"Totally worth it though."

And it is. Of course it is. I wish we were on leave or downtime right now, because there is seriously nothing else that I would like to do right now than to stay in bed with her for the duration. Hmm, maybe I should ask her if she's doing anything during our next leave. Oh, I don't think there' s going to be a maybe about this… especially judging by how much my new girlfriend appears to be hot for my body.

It's nice to be wanted.

Oh.

--------------------

I'm in my office now, having arrived five minutes late, which isn't bad going seeing as we would have been much later if my girlfriend wasn't such a speed freak… hm, I think she's turned me into a speed freak too.

Oh yeah.

It's amazing how much work I've got through… my in-tray was waist-deep this morning, or felt like it at least but within a few hours, it was almost nonexistent. That's… that's never happened before – not as quickly at least. Everyone who's visited my office today has given me really weird looks… Balinsky's even stopped talking as incessantly… which could be construed as a blessing. I think it was down to me humming. I've just found myself doing it all day.

Jack strolls in and stops a few feet short of my desk for no apparent reason. I look up and he looks stunned. Ok… has he actually started taking narcotics now? And then it hits me.

I'm actually singing.

Yep.

Your Song as well.

Oh dear…

As I try to take the same leaf that Sam took out of Jack's book of frightening nonchalance yesterday when the SF walked in on us, Jack exhales and asks, his eyebrows slowly but surely shooting up,

"Good time last night?"

I just stare back at him, and then he stares at me, the two of us trying to faze each other. He then remarks, throwing his hands down and losing our little challenge in the process,

"Oh fer cryin' out loud…"

That is the little thing some people here at the mountain refer to as his 'ofcol'. Not particularly sure why anyone would acronym it… it just takes the life out of it; well, at least that's what I think. What do I know?

So, anyway, Jack says, "You're humming and singing… I've had reports from people requesting you and Carter both get checked out by Doctor Brightman for alien doohickies and… such… like."

Always the eloquent speaker. God, I miss him being on the team. Hey, what was that about Sam?

"… Anyway, just wanted to check up on you. How's it going?"

He raises a finger, remembering what happened the last time he asked me that question, and he says, "Ah, short answer… microscopic even."

I shrug, inwardly amused as I reply, "I'm fine, Jack."

He nods and then says, "You were late today. You're never late coming to work… or whenever you go home the night before to… _enable_ you to come into work in the first place."

He makes me want to laugh sometimes… a lot of the time, with his roundabout way of trying to dig for information casually. I just reply, pushing my glasses up (why do I always forget to tighten these damn things?!),

"Sorry, Jack. It won't happen again…"

Hopefully. I guess Sam and I will just have to be careful.

"… So… what do you want, Jack?"

Jack is your classic multitasker. He doesn't come for one reason – he comes for several… including and especially because of boredom, but there are always other little excuses too. He replies,

"Well… I'm bored, and two of my team appear to have interesting lives these days… well, three to be honest. T's gone to booty-call Ish'ta."

_His_ team? Well… yeah… he's finding it so hard to let go, and so are we. I guess we'll always be Jack's team, whatever happens, whoever's in charge. It was like that when he was doing the covert undercover operation to rat out the mole here at the SGC five years ago. It's sad that he couldn't confide in any of us, least of all me, but over the years since, I've worked it out… he really did have to cut all ties, and I suppose, if I was in his place now, I'd do the same. He had to be above suspicion in order to be scouted by Maybourne.

Ah, poor Teal'c. It's always something new with him and Ish'ta, always some new argument, or a lot of the time, the same argument… only it's phrased differently. It's like a bad soap opera… I swear, the number of times Ish'ta accuses Teal'c of insulting her parents, her ability as a warrior or a teacher; or her honour is laughable, but then again, Teal'c can be a Jaffa version of Jack when it comes to women… tact isn't his strong suit in that department. Poor man. I wonder how many times he gets beat up this time.

Anyway.

He comes round to smooth my hair again – I think he likes my shampoo; maybe it's for good luck to keep McKay away – and asks, looking serious for once, "Are you happy?"

Why is he asking me this? Is he really concerned? Does he have an ulterior motive? Ok… this paranoia is getting sillier by the minute.

So I tell him the truth. "Yes. I am."

Not particularly elaborate, but at least it's succinct and to the point… I hope.

He seems satisfied by the answer and he replies with a strange smile that doesn't really encourage me about how _he_ feels about Sam and I being an 'us', "Good… that's good to hear."

I say to him, now feeling down as he tries to hide his sadness, "Jack, I'm sorry."

He looks at me, I look at him, and he knows that I know, that there's no need to bullshit. He looks down for a moment, perhaps to gather his thoughts and then he looks at me again. He says, a little gruffly,

"Stand up."

Ok… he's going to hit me now… and I probably deserve it, I don't know. I don't care. There's just a lot of pain his eyes right now. We've known each other for so long, pulled each other through the biggest and most violent of storms… he has a _lot_ of leeway here and now.

I slowly stand up, making sure I know where his hands are, and when I do stand up, he looks at me for a moment, and then takes me by surprise when he hugs me. I get over the surprise and hug him back, whispering,

"Jack…"

I want to tell him that I never meant to fall in love with Sam… it just happened. It was a long process that started when we first met and something I didn't notice without guilt until relatively recently. I never wanted to make Jack sad. He has been through a lot, and I feel mean for all the things I thought about him and Sam together… even though I now know that it wouldn't have happened anyway.

He stops me though, rubbing my upper back as he says, his cheek against my hair, "No, Daniel… don't. You and Carter are happy and that's all that matters. I'll get over this. _This_ is just some old man hanging onto the past."

I look at him, laughing a little despite not feeling good right now, and I say, "You're not old, Jack. You're only ten years older than me."

"… which makes me forty-nine, buddy. Not bad, I suppose, making General before I hit fifty."

--------------------

A little later on, after skirting past a fuming Teal'c who stormed down a corridor (I don't know what happened… I'm not sure that I want to just right now. Remember what I said about liking life too much?), I go to visit my girlfriend. I like referring to Sam as that – as sad as I am, it just gives me a little thrill saying 'girlfriend'.

Oh.

Anyway.

Sam's about to leave for lunch, looking a little worn out from all the work she's done, and I hug her, with the intention of making her feel better. Luckily, we're right under the security camera because the hug soon evolves.

I was going a little nuts not being able to touch her for the time between coming in and now, but we have to remain professional, despite not going on any missions this week (never a dull moment though… I'll bet something happens soon, as it usually does). Sam whispers in my ear as I have her pressed up against a wall, nuzzling her neck as she runs her fingers through my hair,

"Did General O'Neill go to see you?"

That certainly stops me. With her still between myself and the wall, I reply as I stroke her cheek, "Yeah."

So Jack went to see her too. Oh dear God. She says with a little shrug, looking as sad as I feel right now, "He'll get over it, you know."

I nod and reply with a sigh, "I know."

She rests her head on my chest as she says, "We'll just have to lay off the coupley stuff in front of him for a while."

I hold her close and am about to speak when we both hear Jack's voice, and we turn around, a little embarrassed considering our previous position, "I'm not a party pooper, kids. You don't have to creep around. I really am happy for you… and I'm sure T is… just don't ask him now – big domestic an' all."

Sam and I exchange a little look and then we invite him to join our hug. He looks awkward but eventually complies, and we hug him. Sam says to him with a little smile,

"You'll still be a big part of our lives, Sir."

Jack finally smiles as he says, looking at her, "I know, Carter… I'm paying for the wedding… if Jacob doesn't neuter me first."


	10. Epilogue

_Anyway... AU – Jacob's still alive, and this chapter, or epilogue, is set after season 10 but before the movies... so beware the Ides of Spoilers... What is it with me and bad jokes lately?!_

_--------------------_

So… this day has been, ooh, a couple of years in the making. Jacob has been living with us for a while now. I really don't mind it at all, although I'll admit that it can be awkward sometimes. I'm glad he's in our lives though. We nearly lost him shortly after we got together, when I was semi-ascended (long story that I really don't want to go into right now, especially on my wedding day… oh boy), when Selmak died, but the Asgard managed to save Jacob at the last minute with a little help from Sam. Basically, they used a combination of a modified version of Tretonin and a sample of Jolinar's proteins from Sam's blood. The recovery was tough, but he got through it… Sam's the image of her father in regard to how they persevere through the toughest of things, and come out relatively stronger.

I miss Selmak… as do Sam and Jacob of course. And we all miss Catherine Langford, Colonel Emerson, the Asgard… as well as Janet of course. So many lives lost in ongoing crusades of conversion, domination and persecution that we can only hope to succeed in. In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter.

Things have changed so much. Jack got promoted to lead Homeworld Security, we defeated the Goa'uld and the Replicators, another enemy managed to sprout forth – the Ori – more dangerous, if possible, than the Goa'uld… a _lot_ more. SG-1's line-up has changed too, although we'll always be Jack's team, even if he's usually with the suits in D.C.

Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell, the brave F-302 pilot who fought valiantly in the fight with Anubis' forces over the Ancient outpost in Antarctica three years ago roughly, is the team lead, the post being thrust upon the poor man unexpectedly (he only wanted to work with us), but he's settled in well, and flourished.

Vala Mal Doran, the former host of the Goa'uld Qetesh who hijacked the Prometheus with me on it shortly before I told Sam how I felt about her. She's also the mother of the Orici, the known Universe's greatest threat… ever. As well as that, Vala managed to shackle herself to me when I wanted to go to Atlantis. Sam and I had been granted special dispensation to live there as a couple, and to work side-by-side. I was to go ahead of her while she was working at Area 51, both of us having resigned from the SGC once the Goa'uld and the Replicators had been defeated and Teal'c had left to help with the development of the Free Jaffa nation.

That didn't happen… I couldn't go to Atlantis because of those damn bracelets, and then Sam… Let's just say that we're now the proud parents of beautiful one and half year old twin girls, thanks to a happy accident. I'd hate to think what would have happened had I not been delayed in going to Atlantis – Sam would have found out she was pregnant in the City after she had joined me, and then the lives of her and the babies would have been put at risk by the Wraith situation.

So, technically, I owe Vala my fiancée's life and those of my daughters, as well as mine on several occasions.

And I did get to go to Atlantis eventually.

We all came back to the team gradually, after Mitchell had repeatedly pushed Teal'c, Sam and I to do so. These past two years have been tough, but they have been so worth it; so very worth it with the work we've done, the things we've seen and accomplished, the advances and discoveries we've made. We have lost a lot, but gained much in return. The team has bonded well, surprisingly. Vala is our way into the Ori via Adria the Orici, a little like Teal'c was to the world of the Goa'uld all those years back. She has settled well into Earth life, having been on the run for most of her previous life… and she has proved to be a great friend and team-mate.

We're like one big family here… one big, crazy, mixed up family.

Anyway.

I'm waiting here at the front of a Church… I don't like Churches. They just give me the willies. I think it's because the last time I was in one was when I was seven, for Grandma's funeral. Our local Church when I was growing up had a scary German Pastor, of whom I had nightmares a-plenty as small child. Luckily, in that regard, my parents weren't Church going folk… Oh dear, I sound like Mitchell. It's only natural that I'd pick something up from him what with the man being such a strong influence in our working lives.

Anywho, Sam wanted a Church ceremony in memory of her mother, who was a devout Catholic. I find it interesting that we're in a Protestant Church, but I won't say anything. I'm just happy to have finally reached this stage after so much turbulence, carnage, grief and loss.

If only Janet and Catherine had got a chance to meet their namesakes.

I'm stood here with Jack as my best man. When the time had come for choosing, there was only one choice… well, two, but Teal'c conceded his place, saying to me in private that Jack needed the closure. I'm proud of Jack – if our places had been switched, I would have trouble being here, never mind being happy. But not only is he here, he's the life of the party and not in a fake way.

I love him.

The Church is packed with SGC people and a few cleared off-world allies. There's also Mark and his family, Cassie's boyfriend of the month, SG-1, Generals Hammond and Landry (the latter our big CO), Carolyn Lam (the CMO at the mountain and Landry's daughter), Bra'tac, Ish'ta, Elizabeth and Sheppard (representing Atlantis), Paul Davis, Jonas, Anise and Juseen, Nyan, and many, many others.

It's amazing to think of how many friends and allies we have made over the years, how many lives that we have touched and those that we, in turn, have been touched by. So much has happened over these past ten years, so much… of everything imaginable and otherwise.

Jack asks quietly as I glance at my watch, "You ok, Space Monkey?"

I nod and reply, "Yeah… you?"

"I'm cool… look, it's ok to be antsy, especially you, seeing as anything could happen, at anytime… and it's not just work. Carter might not even turn up…"

I've missed Jack's brand of humour. Really.

"Jaaack!"

"Just keepin' ya on your toes."

I don't like standing on tip-toe… although it's easier now thanks to Mitchell's insistence on playing basketball regularly. Jack's still looking at me, so I say,

"I guess I am antsy. This has been a long time in the making."

It has. I asked her to marry me shortly before I was planning on going ahead to Atlantis and then Sam went to Nevada… and we've been trying ever since. I hope we get married this time.

"I'll say. You've got two kiddies out of wedlock."

He pats me on the shoulder and continues, "You're gonna be fine. Just breathe through your air holes and out through your cakehole."

What if she doesn't turn up? What if she decides she doesn't want to get married to me this time? What if she gets kidnapped on the way to the Church? I'm getting edgy again – shut up and take the advice.

Cassie walks down the aisle as bridesmaid, and I smile as she reaches the front of Sam's side, our almost-Doctor. Janet would have been so proud of this gutsy young woman who reminds us so much of our long departed friend every day. She's holding the hands of two beautiful fair-haired toddlers, acting as flower girls, who are surprisingly shy and quiet.

Knowing that it isn't too long until my wonderful bride shows up, I kneel to hug our daughters, the girls a testament to hope and faith in the future, and the beauty and resilience of life and freedom. I whisper words of how proud I am of them. Little Janet won't let me go, as resilient as both her mother, and her namesake too, so I hold her hand to let her stand with me. But… as Jack and Mitchell quietly laugh, and Teal'c smirks, Catherine won't stand alone without her sister.

With Jack and Teal'c's help, I manage to get the twins to sit with their Uncle Mitchell and Auntie Vala, and then Catherine begins to cry for her mother. General Hammond shocks her out of crying by picking her up and talking to her as he glances at me with a twinkle in his eye, and I smile in thanks at him.

He must have been a brilliant father.

The first bars of the Wedding March begin to play so I quickly compose myself, and then I can't help myself. I turn around and see a breathtaking sight. My beautiful bride on the arm of her father, the two of them smiling as everyone stands, cameras flashing almost continuously.

Sam's eyes meet my own and her smile grows wider. She's as nervous as I am but we're both fighting to overcome it and just enjoy it. We are going to get married this time. We are. The Ori better not drop in, because, so help me _anything_, I'll make them very, very sorry… or lend them the twins, which will have them running away screaming from this galaxy in no time at all.

Why didn't we think of that before?

I watch Jacob, who smiles at me too. He hasn't been the same since Selmak left us. He usually looks gaunt and half-empty, but today, he's looking chipper. Carolyn insists that his state of health is steadily improving, and he'll be off the modified Tretonin in a few months.

They finally reach the front and Jacob shakes my hand, saying with a trace of tears in his eyes quite possibly at the prospect of giving his daughter away, "Take care of my little girl, Danny. I mean it. Her brother and I will make you very sorry if you don't… and that's after Sam's finished with you."

I smile slightly at the threat, knowing that one day I may have to do the same should either Janet or Catherine get married, or when Cassie marries, and we hug as he says, now crying, "Look after her."

I nod, touched at his grief, and I say as I touch his cheek, "I will… Dad. I promise."

It feels so natural to call him Dad. He's always been a father figure to me since he came into our lives, more in the way of him being my best friend's Dad, but it's been good. He smiles and replies, looking proud,

"I know you will… Son."

Our exchange is more than a little disturbing on one level as I'm marrying his daughter, but after everything we've been through together and separately, it's touching. I watch as Jacob tells Sam how proud he is of her and how much he loves her. I can't help but think again how I could be in his position in the future. Sam kisses him on the cheek and finally, he places her hand in mine before standing to the side, quickly wiping his tears away.

I remark to Sam, "Well… this is the furthest we've been out of each of the times we wanted to get married."

She, the love of my life, retorts with a grin, "I guess I'm the only bride round here to have the same dress for an entire year. How many times was it again?"

We hold hands, gazing at each other in love and a lot relief but cautious optimism at how far we've got, and then look to the Priest, who begins the ceremony. I can't believe how far we've got, and, glancing at Sam, she can't either. This better not be some crazy Goa'uld trap to make us believe we're getting married, when in fact we're thousands of light years away on some hoochie Goa'uld's ship (_hoochie_… I must have picked that up from either Jack or Mitchell).

No, stop it. We're really getting married. I feel her hands squeeze mine and know that the same hypothesis has just run through her head. Ok… air holes, cake hole.

--------------------

We're married. We're married! Oh yeah. I really can't believe it, and neither can Sam. We weren't going to go on honeymoon because of the situation, but everyone insisted. So… Dad's looking after our babies and Jack sent us off to Cancun, his treat.

He and Dad fought over paying for the wedding… we would have done it, but they wanted to; Dad, on account of being Sam's father; Jack, on account of being Sam's former CO. It got pretty messy but then they eventually albeit grudgingly settled for Dad paying for the wedding, and Jack paying for the honeymoon.

Jack insists it's a gift and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. We considered escaping… but Jack threatened to send SG-3 as an armed escort. I don't doubt that he would have come through on his promise too.

So… Cancun. It's beautiful. We've taken so many pictures already and it's only the third night in.

It's like a bubble, with the SGC and galactic goings-on on the outside, and us in this paradise inside. It's so relaxing too, and Sam and I have had so much time to ourselves, to do things we've never done, or just nothing at all. It's been nice, getting to know each other all over again without the pressures of work around us.

Anyway. After having a wonderful seafood dinner, we took a stroll on the beach, and then came back to our beachside apartment, sitting on the balcony. She got up to go to the bathroom at least ten minutes ago and I haven't seen her since.

I hope she hasn't been abducted. I really meant it about lending the Ori the twins. Our little girls would scare them away for sure. So I get up, stretching after having been seated for a while, and I gently tap on the bathroom door and ask,

"Sam? Are you ok?"

She sounds a little strange – I can't quite pinpoint it – as she replies after a pause, "Yeah… I guess so."

Oh no.

"What's wrong?"

Another long pause. "Nothing… nothing's wrong. Go back to the balcony. I'll be there in a minute."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I have no idea what's wrong… I hope she's ok. If it turns out that she's changing into a Prior, I'm going to quit the SGC. I did it once – the Prior thing I mean – and it wasn't very nice. In fact, I'd rather forget it.

So, I go back to the balcony, worried even more as I look out across the moonlit ocean, a million and one hypotheses running through my head. Maybe she's had a heavy flow, although it is a bit late for that. She's probably upset about it. I owe her a hug.

A couple of minutes later, she's back and she sits down next to me without saying anything. Noticing how odd she looks, strained almost, I pull her into a hug and say as I play with her hair,

"It's ok, Sam…"

It's times like these when I'm glad that I have a Y chromosome. The poor woman.

"… you're going to be fine. It'll go in a couple of days."

She closes her eyes for a moment and then gives me the oddest of looks. I'm confused now. She does know what I'm talking about doesn't she? She then smiles slightly, shaking her head slightly as she says,

"You're so thoughtful, Daniel."

Before I can ask her what's wrong, she holds my hands and says, looking at me straight in the eyes, "Daniel… I've got something to tell you. I don't know how you're going to take it, but please don't freak out."

Um… I think I would have noticed long before now if she was really a man… I just thought I'd mention that. If I do, then it won't happen… right?

"Sam, what's going on?"

She swallows, looking a little troubled, and then she says, "We're going to be parents again, Daniel. I'm pregnant."

Oh.

Oh my.

Oh my God.

…

I stare at her for a long moment, unaware of the passing of time, and then I sweep her into a big hug. I'm going to be a Daddy again… we're going to be parents… again! This is… this is amazing; it's too amazing for words. I mean, we've talked about it before now but we decided against having another baby because of the situation up above but… wow.

I kiss her, grinning like an idiot, and she begins to cry. Suddenly serious – I mean, you don't laugh when your wife, mother of your children, best friend, team-mate, coffee buddy and fellow scientist is crying, do you? – I ask as I dry her tears,

"Sam, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head a little and replies, now smiling, "Nothing… nothing at all. I just thought you'd be mad."

I'm… I'm shocked. Why would I be mad? I shake my head and smile at her, drying more of her tears as I say,

"God, no Sam, of course not. This is absolutely amazing news. We've always wanted another one… and maybe we could name him after Jack… or if it's a her… maybe after your Mom."

She suddenly smiles a lot more and hugs me, replying with a laugh as I hold onto her, "That would be so great."

I kiss her hair and say, "Yep."

Because you know what? It will be. It will be amazing. I don't doubt that we will have our ups and downs, tastes of darkness and of the light in the years to come, but the constant factor in the years before, and hopefully in the years to come, is our family… all of our family.

So as I sit here with my new wife as we look out across the ocean, hope in our hearts, I think back to the day that started all of this. What if I hadn't told her? I doubt very much that we would be sitting here. I probably would have gone to Atlantis eventually, and I might never have seen her again.

The thought hurts me... especially seeing as I now know how she feels about me, and how happy we can be. These years we've had, have indeed been a blessing to us in many ways... I can only hope that the future will only get better.

– Fin

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_Yay, it's finally finished! Reviews are very, very, very... did I say very, welcome. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favouriting... And if you've been waiting for Jackson Junior... that's coming soon now that I've finished this. _


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